Story time: when I was a little kid, I imagined I would have my life more or less figured out by 24.
By 24, I would be working at a place that made me fulfilled, graduated with my Master’s Degree, and be financially and socially well-off. That was the dream and the goal when I was a kid. To be honest, I fancied myself to be very realistic as a kid. I’ll have graduated college by 21, be done with school by 23, and found a job and started working by 24. It all made sense on paper.
I’m approaching my 24th birthday in 7 weeks, and I realize that not only had I not achieved these goals I set out for myself, I feel as though I have lost the direction my life should be going in. If my life was a movie, then this would be the scene in which the heroine of the story (a.k.a. me) walks in the rain with sad music playing in the back.
The honest to God truth is that I find myself a bit lost recently. I have realized that not only do I feel unfilled with the direction my life is going, but I also realized that I need to get back to basics. I moved to New York, and it seemed like all of my dreams of living that big city, glamorous life will all of a sudden come true. It was too easy to get swept up in the glitz and glam we try to create for ourselves (even though my life was nothing like the glitz and glam I wanted).
When I was at Disneyworld last week and surrounded by stories of Disney Princesses inspiring little girls around the world, I had a lot of time to think through about the person I want to be when I enter my 24th year of life.
Aside from all of the he person I want to be is actually the person that I was when I first came to New York: financially responsible, Church-going and God-loving, family-oriented, and focused on living a life that will bring some form of happiness, joy, or comfort to other people. I was a small-town girl who loved writing. I wanted a personal style was comfortable, bright and colorful, and feminine. I wanted to use makeup as a creative outlet that I can have fun with and not depend on. I valued God, family, and friends above worldly possessions or worldly goals.
I think about all of the big dreams I’ve had coming to New York (making it big in the fashion and beauty industry, making enough money to live a life somewhat resembling Gossip Girl, etc.), and I realized that it wasn’t the dreams that made me feel as though I’m no longer true to myself. It is the fact that I have lost sight of my values and the person that I am. Social media warps all of our perceptions of real life; it makes us want a life that isn’t always what it seems, and it creates unrealistic expectations.
That is why I have identified the parts of my life that I am aiming to fix, and I hope to begin that process of getting back to my roots and back to basics in the weeks leading up to my birthday. I hope to get myself, my blog, and my social media back to the basics of who I am, and I hope I can do this through erasing all of these unrealistic images we have of what life should be. After all, I am in my early 20s, and there are just some things that can’t be achieved yet (a.k.a. having the financial means to go shopping every. single. day.)
What better season than Fall is there to make changes to my life, shed bad behavior, and start living my best life with values that stay true to myself?
I’ll be documenting as much of this journey as I can, and this journey of self-improvement doesn’t end on my birthday. It will be a continuous process that lasts much longer past my birthday, but hopefully, some progress will have been made by then!
Hope you enjoyed reading this very honest post about my life!
